wHAT A lECTURE....
A person from a remote village was transferred to a new place. He reported for duty on 14th August . He was asked to address the school assembly on 15th August, the Independence Day.
His speech was something like this:
Leddies and Gentulmens and young men, "This is my first maiden speech. If small mistakes get inside my speech, I am pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint this school more fastly, but cannot. Too much time lust in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on stationmaster. He said me to go to the lady clerk. At first she also rejected. But at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the stationmaster because he was responsible for getting birth of my son. So I am late.
We got independent because of great leadersz linke Gundhiji who get-outted all angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth rate and we shall halve it. Today we all have our birth-rate. You children are future dynamic generators of the Nation. Look into future time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind. Be like great like X' raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt, Dim Butter, Lipton etc. You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety seven percent evaporation. They became great by reading great books. After we finish you off here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A., M.A.M.A and other decrease. Then you can become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants, or lecherers in college. The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, classroom is the soil. We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads and one-day you all will become great phools. Many vacancy job come in papers. Only yesterday I saw in paper "Wanted for refuted engineering firm: - Generators, highpower condensors" so and so forth, etc. These jobs may be teknickel, but you can shine. If you have flare in English, you can become teacher. I am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and thank God!.
(collected from the net)